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There was a time at which I was using quite a lot of spanking in my discipline, and it happened that over the course of 34 days, I got 13 of them. With the paddle. I’ll provide a chart which will depict the pattern graphically, but it was day 1 (7), day 3 (7), day 5 (7), day 7 (3), day 13 (7), day 15 (7), day 17 (7), day 21 (7), day 22 (7), day 26 (5), day 28 (3), day 30 (3), day 34 (4).

On the 36th day, I had an interesting experience. I broke down and was given over completely into the throes of an obedience passion that I had never before known in my life. I pleaded to do the will of what was punishing me. I was completely consumed by a desperate desire to obey, and to be the way it was desired that I be. I came to call this reaction “the gold response.” This was an unprecedented event in my life, and as the months and now years unfolded, I began to realize what had happened.

There are a few activities that humans engage in that seem to draw, discernibly, higher-world presences. One of these is the hunt, one of them is wrestling, and probably one is war, although I have not observed war, and so cannot report directly.

Many years ago, commercial swordfishing was done in a very romantic and swashbuckling sort of way. They had invented a gun that shot harpoons, but it wasn’t much good because the harpoon tended to bounce on the water. What they found effective was to put a swordfish-stand on the prow of a 40-50 foot boat, with a railing around what they called the pulpit, at the end of a gangplank, and a man called a striker would get out there with his harpoon, which he called an iron, and they would drive the boat up on the swordfish, and he would heave his iron and spear it.

Apparently this was a pretty unique form of hunting in the cosmos, and when a boat would come in with 40 or so fish, and they were winching these 200-500 pound swordfish onto the dock, the fishermen would be full of higher-world hunters. You could see it in their eyes; they would look larger, and curved like a minaret.

You see that in wrestlers’ eyes sometimes as well, particularly after a wrestler has been genuinely had, and has become what I call a wrest-ling. They’re never really the same after that, after they’ve really been had.

I think that the experience made a spankling of me. Essentially, this is how I explain what happened: The robot-mind is responsible for far more of our behavior than most people realize. An example is regimens of running for exercise. You start on a running regimen, and you’re full of determination, and it’s really enough determination, but it consumes a lot of energy, and after a week or two of it the robot-mind decides it has to go and something happens and you miss running. Then something else happens and you miss it again. A few weeks later, you think, “Hey, what happened to the running?” But you don’t really have the will to resume it, and so it goes.

The robot-mind really largely controls our behavior most of the time. It’s very subtle; it doesn’t let you know that it’s controlling you. But the 13-34 frustrates it greatly. Repeated paddlings successively break down the cell walls, but always the healing process begins. Then you get another one, and the healing is destroyed and more damage is done. The behind is a pretty important body part, physically. You sit on it; you pivot on it sometimes; it has to be healed.

After a certain amount of this, the robot-mind becomes very frustrated and comes out of the closet and overtly controls you. And it makes you yearn and beg to do the will of what is spanking you, and makes you more submissive than you have ever been in your life. And you are never really the same after that happens. Because you know in your heart of hearts that it can be done to you again. And so you become more obedient, and easier to spank. You become a spankling. You realize as you never did before that this part of you can overtly control you, and that changes the self-identity concept that the ego has, because now it knows that it can be controlled.

Whether to undergo this experience is a decision that each must make for himself. But for the record I have never regretted it. I think that it made a better person of me. More to the point, it has given me an immensely powerful weapon in the shaping of my own destiny. If I threaten a 13-34 if certain behavior occurs, that behavior is terminated. It no longer occurs. And that includes a whole lot of interesting stuff, such as indulgence of lust or temptational thoughts. The instinct of lust is primordial; it is a dinosaur. But the fear of a 13-34 is a tyrannosaurus rex. It eats dinosaurs for breakfast. This punishment powerfully equips me to produce any level of behavior that I mandate, including eligibility for the desired heaven-world.

If there is ever any temptation toward disobedience, all I have to do is to think of the 13-34 (or some part of it -- a given number of steps of it), and a very powerful obedience arises within me. Because I know what it would do to me. I would become a little bit ego-weaker if I got another one of those, and I passionately do not desire that.

Once I was overworked and dieting, but close to making weight, at which point I could eat anything I wanted, and I really wanted some ice cream. I also wanted to drink some whiskey, which I used to do because I was writing and I needed to unwind. I got out of work late, made weight, ate a whole bunch of ice cream, and drank a whole lot of whiskey. Due to the energy taxation, I became frankly drunk as a skunk. I went to bed. One of my first magnetos, from 35 years in the past, appeared in my mind as a psychic presence and took me over his knees, as had been his wont. This additional unexpected forfeiture of control had the effect that I began to rut like a thirty-year-old, and indeed spilled, which was fairly normal behavior for me when I was thirty.

When I awoke the next morning, the first words out of my mouth were, “You’re getting a 13-34.” These words I believe came from my higher self. Over the course of the next 34 days, I administered the 13-34 conscientiously. Toward the end, I experienced the gold response -- the intense and heartfelt desire to correct my behavior and to do the will of my punishing discipliner.

After a few months, without any conscious intention on my part, I began to say bitterly, “I hate alcohol. I hate it.” I still find myself saying that from time to time. And it is true. I do hate alcohol. I generally do not drink at all.

And I have never rutted since. What I would describe as an Amazon woman appeared in my psychic life, and if I did not reject a sexual temptation quickly enough, she would pick up the paddle and waste my butt. I’m talking hard, man. Immediately.

There has not been a problem with sex since. My rules state that if I make a submissive turnover without using the meditation seat, I will get five steps of the 13-34.