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The Pants-and-Yoga-Mat-Technique
Going Across the Knees
Somehow there is nothing like going over the knees, for making a spanking be as it should. It is archetypal. When you are over the thigh-tops, being spanked, something feels just exactly right, and all of the good parts of the punishment -- taking the lesson to heart and all that -- seem to be enhanced and more powerful. And when the possibility of that is a constant, real, and immanent threat, behavior will improve, because going over the knees is so nice, and has such attractions about it, that the threat is realer, and requires a lot less will power.
The good news is that fully grown people are by no means too big for this. And the situation can easily be simulated with an end table and two 3/8-inch yoga mats rolled up and stuffed into the legs of an old pair of dungarees from the top.
You go over them and apply the principles you have already learned about self-applied paddling (always on the bare bottom, remember), and you’re not going to forget that right away. Much to your surprise, this does not feel contrived or unnatural. You don’t feel silly; you feel like, “Oh no, here I am again. Over them and getting one.”
And if you are alone, and the mind starts to wander during meditation or whatever, or you start to permit impure thoughts, all you have to do is think of that equipment, being there, in the other room. The behavior will improve. Because you can take that little brat into the other room by his ear any time you want, and put him over them and spank him. I don’t care how big he is.
The mats I’m using measure 24¼” X 71”. Though they are sold as ½”, they’re really just shy of 3/8 of an inch. Rolled up, they measure 6 inches in diameter. The table is 17” wide, 22” long, and 22” high. This works well for me, and I am 5-foot seven and three quarters inches tall, and weigh about 140 pounds.
The construction in the photo below is of 1½” X 1½” fir. The pieces marked “1” in the photo are 22”. The pieces marked “2” are 14”. The 14-inch pieces fit inside the 22-inch pieces, making the width 17 inches (14 + 3). The legs (marked “3” in the photo) are 22”.
The 22” and 14” format is simply duplicated for the lower braces. That adds up to 19’ 4” of 1½ X 1½, which they sometimes call 2X2’s.
You will need 16 3½-inch, ¼-inch bolts, and sixteen nuts. I didn’t use washers or lock washers, and it’s held together for years. The nuts will dig into the wood a bit, and keep them from turning. Be careful to get regular steel bolts (24 cents each), and not stainless ( a dollar ten apiece).
There are no nails or screws, and no glue. Just put the legs in the corners and drill from the 1’s through the 3’s with a ¼-inch drill, and from the 2’s through the 3’s, being careful to put the two holes at different levels. Put the lower braces no higher than eight inches from the bottoms of the legs to the bottoms of the 2X2’s. It will lose the wobble when you tighten it up.
Just slap any kind of 3/8” plywood top on it and nail it in place. If you have a big body, you might need more reinforcement, or heavier material. Use your own judgement.
You may use this technique in your self-discipline If challenged by usurpers on the claim that you have submitted to another, you may demand that they leave you, affirming that it is self-discipline, and not submission If they are difficult to expel, you may refer them to me. I am Supposedtobedube, the founder of Unism, which can be found as book III of this website, “The Unist Religion”.
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